fallenangelflonne:

aknowlee:

basedmountaindew:

kaldriss:

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>god damn i love sandwiches

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>god damn i cant stand dubbed anime

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>god damn i hope my real teacher never comes back

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>i’m 20,000 leagues under the fucking sea

shanology:

fuckerluke:

tumblr has ruined the word daddy for me forever. the other day my dad was like as a joke “come give daddy a hug” and i literally cringed i wanted to cry i wanted god himself to come down and take my life right there

Where is the lie

• Me: *explaining to my lil bro what having a period feels like because he was curious*
• Dad: Hey shut up literally no one wants to hear about that ew
• Dad: Besides women are exaggerating the so called pain they go through anyway
• Me: 
• Bro: 
• Bro: No wonder mom left you.
• Me: OH MY GOD oH MY gOd OOOOOOOOOOOH

itssexualhour:

so it was my best friend’s 16th birthday and we had this really intense sexual tension since i kissed him by accident this one time and we were with all our other friends so he took me into another room and said “i literally think i’m in love with you” and then we just kissed for like half an hour until he finally started pulling my shirt up but then his mom walked in and didn’t even flinch like literally “hey son i’m ordering pizza oh hi girl who is making out with my son” and kept talking and we were just standing there uncomfortably and when we finally unfroze he yelled “MOM IT’S MY BIRTHDAY” and that’s the story of the first time my fiancé told me he loved me.